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**hugs her forever**
2004-01-19 - 4:45 p.m.

When it rains, it pours.

I started the ride home thinking. Got home, walked up the stairs, saw my dad run by naked (hot). Stood in the kitchen. Cut up an apple, thought. Thought for a long time. Went into my room. Signed on. Logged on to diaryland. Checked my buddy list. Sort of stared...drifted...coughed a little. Saw you sign on. My heart jumped a little. Saw you sign off. Thought about why you signed off. Shook it off. Coughed some more. Took a shower.

Just to think, waste time.

You opened the door, I flew into your arms. I kissed you. Hugged you, forgot about how hard I was hugging you. I hugged you as much as possible in the fifteen minutes that I was with you.

I hugged you, I looked into your eyes, thinking words at you as hard as I can, wishing you would hear them. I remember thinking in my head, "Can you hear me?"

And then I hugged you, and I heard some sound come out of your mouth. I stopped hugging you and looked into your eyes. The same thing happened as I drifted away from the door, looking into your eyes.

C'mon...don't cry. You didn't do anything. You have no idea how hard it was to leave you there, knowing what you were feeling inside.

I know that you love me. It's hard to say I've never doubted it and make you believe me because of what I've written, but it's true. Because whenever I have gotten to the point of doubting, you do something so incredibly beautiful and perfect that i can't think about anything but how much i love you, and yes, you love me.

Hey...look at me...(I smile at you) Tell me you didn't laugh when I wrote that I like the nipple rings you drew on me. And I'm listening to the happy CD...(never guessed it'd get this good).

C'mon...don't cry. Please don't cry at the stairs. Don't think about it at work. Don't be the sadface at work, like I've made myself.

I'm going to talk to you tonight.

Hey...I love you.

earlier - later