I was feeling angry a little bit ago and I wanted to write something mean about myself. I don't really know what there is to say besides the fact that I know what people think about me, and I know what my major flaws are.

I just need to sleep with you, I need to have no other obligations. I want to relax and not have to think about homework, about how vacation is ending, about work, about college, about changing my battery, about how to write without sounding like an idiot.

I feel stupid all of the time now. I want to slink into a corner when I'm with all of those people. I left the room tonight to be alone in Ben's room to just listen to depressing music. When I thought someone was coming I'd pick up a book and start reading it to make it seem less awkward.

I know what I'm doing wrong, I guess.

I want to be different just as much as everyone else does.

(I miss you. I love you.)