I am severely disgusted with myself. I don't want summer to be like this, coming home early enough to get sleep for camp the next morning.

Today a super-cool 15 year old who thought he was hot shit wouldn't stop making crude "your momma" jokes. It was one of those cases where no one likes the kid, so he just figures he needs to be stupid to everyone.

Finally turning to me, he insulted my mother, and I said "My mom's dead." I kept a straight face, despite the lie, and he said, "No she's not." I looked away, and the kid got quiet. Another counselor who didn't know me said, "That sucks..." in a sad way.

Finally the 15 year old said "She's not really dead, is she?"

I smiled a little and said, "No, but how did you feel when you thought she was?"

He went on to say that he had no feelings, except for pleasure, which he derives from girls, drugs, and porn.

I'm sorry. I ate too much tonight. My stomach hurts and I'm tired. It's time for bed.