The photo won't mean that much to you, I guess. It's the floor of the van, after C cleaned it in Indianapolis. I miss it, today B told me that they had merch/managing duties covered for next tour. It took a big weight off my shoulders, but it was like that slight pang you feel when you find out that your ex-lover from long ago has moved on to someone new.

I think I lost the will to fight tonight. We didn't even fight, it was just normal conversation. I heard myself yessing her and whenever I felt the urge to suggest something, it just bubbled up and then fizzled out.

Just tired of the things I say being shot down, but I think it's actually a good thing. It puts me in my place, stops me from getting her angry.

I felt so strongly for her when I dialed her number, but by the time I'd hung up it had just lost its vibrance.

But that's fine, the vibrance was just from watching a mushy season finale, it was induced. I'll take reality, it's more rewarding.