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fans are not girlfriend material
2012-02-28 - 1:56 a.m.

The road is good.

It's been five days and I'm having a quick stopover in Brooklyn. Someone else is living in my room. I sleep in the guest bedroom on dirty sheets, but it's $700 and change that I get to keep.

Moving on still depresses me, which likely means I'm not ready yet. I have shouting matches with Julia discussing K. We're not mad at each other, she just calls me on the things I did wrong in it, makes it seem like I deserved it. Maybe I did.

Rejection trumps every ounce of logic and resolve I muster over the course of the day. I feel myself heading for Lost Years of unintentional celibacy.

I see my future in question, and realize that for the first time in a long time, maybe for the first time, everything is going to be completely in my hands. My choice of where to go, because soon I may find myself not alone, but untethered to anything.

earlier - later