Tonight we were on a pool patio at the Hilton in Anaheim. This stupid convention for people who like YouTube too much.

Four of us around a picnic table. A girl named R. She has a toothy smile and a pointy nose, but she's loud and funny and has beautiful long brown hair.

She wore a tank top and the breeze gave her goosebumps on her chest. I think in my head that she's what I'm looking for, and I ask myself the age-old question, 'What are the chances of a girl like her and a guy like me...?'

And I remember the first time I heard that question, when the little boy at camp with leukemia asked his bunkmate if he had a chance with the prettiest girl at camp, because she was nice and slow danced with him at the social. His bunkmate said, 'Pretty slim, man.'

I don't think there's a future with anyone out here, for obvious logistical reasons, but also because the chances are just pretty slim, man.