Went out to the Island this weekend. He stands on his own now, he runs across the room to say hi to me. Brings me books to read to him. He knows a few words, mostly just mouth sounds. Loves being picked up, doesn't fuss.

P and I sat by the pool and talked about family, like we always do. The same grievances about my elusive brother, my insane father, my wet blanket mother. My nonexistent career.

At dinner--after a few margaritas--he told me his perspective on a big day in my childhood. He was at my house visiting for a holiday, my father was losing it. An argument over using the master bathroom escalated to yelling, almost got physical, my grandfather and uncle cut their visit short and my mom asked my dad to leave. The man was out of his mind, this was when we knew something was wrong with him. That was the day I saw that my family could disintegrate. When it comes down to decisions being made and people leaving, the drama kind of stops, crossfades into reality, and you stop thinking that it might be cool to have divorced parents.

But it wasn't sad remembering all this. Maybe in some sad distant corner of my brain, but we laughed about it. And I told P and R at the dinner table how important that day was to me. Still being tipsy, I also gushed about their wedding and how important and beautiful it was to me as a 16-year-old. A lot of memories revolving around P and R.

Two weeks ago in Manhattan a girl hit on me. We exchanged numbers and I met up with her in Brooklyn Friday night. It was late, 1 AM when I got to the bar. We talked a lot--weird conversations about sexting and how I don't care that the government has a secret cache of my dick pics, she called me a douchebag at one point and I made fun of her cargo pants--and we left at 3:30.

She implied that I'd be going home with her, but it never panned out. I walked her to her door and didn't push for anything else. She said she'd like to see me again and I said goodnight.

I think she's everything I'm looking for in a woman: a few years older, well read, smarter than me. A blossoming career that has nothing to do with music in any respect. Thinks I'm an idiot. Enjoys talking down to me. Looks funny when she loses the reins on a conversation. Will be leaving New York mid-August never to be seen or heard from again.

I described the night to JN and she said, 'You know what? I think you're digging it.' And I think she's right. I think E could be a crazy person, a potential sociopath. But she also might just be smart and challenging. She could be one of those people who just blow into your life, mess things up in a good/bad way and then disappear. That's a lot of importance to assign to someone who you've just met, but I'm not usually torn in discerning it in a human being.

Who knows. She may never call back.

JN: 'I hope that you have something casual and fun, with someone that you are attracted to and respect, and when she leaves you're not attached.'

Dreams of K last night. Sad ones.

Tonight Brooklyn gets a cool breeze.