Been so long since I've seen a concert I wanted to be at. Last was Bazan in June 2011.

Johnny Foreigner was tonight.

K was in London two years ago, said her friend Karlie's boyfriend played in a band. I listened to the first 30 seconds of 'Lea Room' and I'd found a new favorite.

Maybe it was my state of mind and body at the time. Fresh off of the fishbone incident, on an all liquid diet. I needed something to latch on to after the hospital and anesthesia. The way Kelly screamed on champagne girls tickled the scar inside my chest. Not being metaphorical, here. There is a scar inside my esophagus.

Lex, Karlie's boyfriend, just a fucking guitar virtuoso. I've never heard sounds like that. The ugliest but most perfect tone to come out of an amplifier. Something about English youth, they have the ability to capture angst in words so much better than anyone else.

I stood next to Kelly for an hour tonight during the openers. Didn't know it was her at first, she was wearing a big coat and a fur hat with ears. Unbelievably gorgeous. Two loud and very English girlfriends with her. Wanted to say hi, I'm looking forward to your set, but I felt like a creep. Realllly creepy looking crowd. Just ugly dudes and fat chicks. I fit right in.

They started the set like I'd seen in videos, with Lex and Kelly walking around the room singing sans amplification. An icebreaker, got everyone singing timidly and off-key. It woke the crowd up, made me smile.

Watched a kid dancing so hard in front of me. I felt like I did at Bazan, and mewithoutYou, seeing the kids that looked like they were having religious experiences. I think they look dumb, but they're having fun. I don't envy it, I enjoy it in my own way. And I look just as dumb, drumming on my thighs and nodding my head on the hits.

Got really sad towards the end. Tears welling up on a sadder song. No one to share the night with besides 30 strangers. I feel lonely, but I tell myself it'll happen when it happens.

Said hi to Lex after the set. Just walked backstage and told him who I was. He said Karlie showed him my music, he really liked it. With all the people that I think are just being nice, I was okay believing he genuinely enjoyed it. I'll take it.