Fucking hate having my hand forced. I finally feel at home here. Why on earth would I leave it?

California would be so alone. A different way of life, but I could do it all again, I could start over. I wouldn't need excuses to stay in. I would get so much work done, I could finish an album. I could get a job at a smaller Fruit Stand. I could buy a car. Really, I could afford it. I could commute an hour to San Francisco to see Sophie, because, from the sound of it, Cotati is dead and for people who have someone or nothing at all. People with something need not apply.

I'm building something here. An empire in my head. I'm learning how to be a person. I'm gaining confidence in myself. I can do this anywhere, sure. I can make friends anywhere, deuce sure.

What's worse, though? Being content to settle, or uprooting myself arbitrarily?

I want to keep climbing the ladder. If you don't believe in the metaphor, fuck off. Go do what you want. I'll figure it out.