I still think about death. Not in the same way I did at the end of college. That was trepidation. I find it's more curiosity driving me now. Almost like I'm biding my time until the reveal, plowing through episodes of a tv show just to get to the end. I think about The Nothing like I used to, but instead of paralysis I feel...amusement? Like I'm daring it to end. Like it was at Joe's cabin, on the balcony, looking over the edge, convinced, drunk, that I had ties to nothing. My escape was and would always be simple and in front of me.