She says--this was before we had phone sex--that I sound very kind. I can't take a compliment, but I swallow it and say thanks. Then I tell her about the time that Jay, a friend of K's father, met me at surprise a birthday party.

After everyone had had a few drinks he was formally introduced to me. He shook my hand and addressed me as K's boyfriend. He said he was happy that she had me. I exuded this kindness, I was like her father. All he knew of me was whatever he'd gathered watching me across the room throughout the night. He didn't know me. I couldn't take a compliment then, either. I probably turned red, smiled and nodded.

I think the same thing on the phone. This person doesn't know me. I don't know her. A day later I'll be on a bus back to Brooklyn and my interest will have already dissipated.