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two paths diverged in a yellow wood
2015-06-16 - 12:29 a.m.

First day back. I walked up the spiral staircase and back out into the world afterwards and I felt like something was bursting out of my chest in a bad way. I put on music that I was listening to in the winter, music about a schizophrenic man in Allston with rumbling drums and detuned guitars and I was back there in that time of the year, a few months ago, when everything was aching I wanted to leave this place but I couldn't admit it. Yeah, I left and I had a taste of what it's like outside, felt my wallet drain and then saw the other side of myself out in California for three weeks and wanted so badly to drive those highways every day and night in a small black hatchback with manual transmission, I felt how my mom felt when she met that PA back in the 80s, the one who made her think "This is what my life could be, I want this for myself, I would like to do this."

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