well, i'm trying to do this whole reforming thing. it's not that hard, seeing as i've had a conscience all along. i'm just trying to figure this whole faith thing out.

i remember this one time on new years at lisa's we were talking about God for a quick second. i remember teddy said "i don't want to believe in it all, but i don't want to go to hell for not believing, either."

so the only thing stopping you from denouncing your faith is a fear of something that you don't believe exists?

but that was many years ago, so it doesn't really matter.

but still, what do i believe? i want salvation, or whatever is good. i want to do good. i mean, for most of the day i go through it believing i'm a decent human being, but when i break it all down at bedtime i know that i wouldn't stand a chance in heaven. but there are worse people in the world...ah whatever...this entry's going nowhere.

i want to be buddhist. that way i wouldn't have to worship anyone. i would just do good. always. but then all the buddhists out there would be bad like all of us lame christians. whatever.