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i called you. you weren't there. i missed you. yeah, i still love you.
2003-12-17 - 9:41 p.m.

tonight was the first night in a long time that i've had hours to myself. it was really tired today. for some reason after the last time i closed my locker today i just got this shitty feeling. it's been following me around all day and i haven't really been able to shake it. it has something to do with seeing your picture right when i was closing my locker. i don't know. you attracted another crowd today.

so my wallets almost empty right now. i think i have...seven dollars. need to get to the bank...yeah...

today in math some freshman came in with his really high pitched voice and said something like "i finished all the problems." i mimicked him in my highest voice possible, which to my surprise got some sincere laughs out of a few kids next to me. the teacher kind of got confused and after the kid left he looks at one of the REALLY INTELLIGENT JOCKS and scolds him for teasing the little kid. he didn't really deny it either. i guess my initial reason for making the comment in the first place was the fact that this kid was five feet tall with a two foot chain around his neck and his pants down past his ass. shit...i sound like my dad...i'm just going to kill this topic right now and say that that kid is free to dress anyway he wants...oh please don't make me like him.

UPDATE: Now everyone, including the teacher, calls that kid "Squeaky."

i had spaghetti tonight. when i was almost done i looked down and one of the smaller spaghettis made a bass clef in my bowl. i missed my bass a lot then. how the fuck could you take that away? what lesson is that going to teach me? as soon as i get that bass back i want to say "yeah, that's right you fucker, it's mine, i payed for it." isn't that the purpose of buying your own things, so your parents can't take them away? i'd understand if it was a bong or something, but seriously, how could you take away an educational tool? you might as well take away my school books, not that i really care about those, though.

i really miss you a lot. the longer i don't see you for, the more all those feelings i told you about come back. the more i run over things that i've done wrong in my mind when i've been with you. i think that's my problem: i think too much.

earlier - later