my heavily tatooed (by your markers) body feels really achy and painy right now. maybe it's just my mind doing it. but i feel REALLY achy and painy. like my neck hurts. and i can just envision the pain throbbing from where those black markers are traced. i can feel the black ink FLOWING INTO MY VEINS RAR GOTHIC MONSTERS! RAR!...um...yeah...enough of that.

seriously though, i like the nipple rings you drew.

this guy walked in today that reminded me of my dad. he was tiny tim's former manager, or so he said. he was missing most of his teeth, and he REEKED of cigarette smoke. he REEKED. as soon as i looked at him i could SEE the smell, if that even makes sense. unfortunately, i got used to it and now i can picture my lungs being black as a result of smelling him. but this guy turned out to be pretty nice. then when i made the connection to my dad, i got to thinking about how this guy really was. he had some kids, he said. i wondered if he hit his kids. then again, most adults did forty years ago, so it wouldn't be that big of a deal. he looked like one of those crazy homeless guys. he talked and talked. and finally he says, "I knew there was something about you! you're so nice, you're italian!" and then he called me his "pizon" (said with child-like stupidity because i have no idea how to spell it and i'm writing it as i hear it). it means "good friend" in italian. it was a cool moment. by that time the disgusting smell of cigarrettes had become normal, even though i'd only been assisting this guy for a half hour or so.

then there was this one point where i realized this WAS (or would be) my dad in a few years. when a lady was like "i'm not going to pay for these two pictures because i don't like how they came out." the lady left and the guy (Louie) said "that's what women will do to you. they're nothing but trouble." verbatum from my dad's sayings of ASSHOLE.

then finally, we got to talking about music (and tiny tim) at the sale's counter. and he started telling my boss about how good of an employee i was. and my boss cut him off and said, "yes, a great employee that has a line of 10 people he needs to help." he dismissed louie, just like that. a guy i had spent 45 minutes helping out.

i got a two dollar tip.

sometimes i when we pass the snowbanks covered in black car stuff i want to yell "HEY LOOK IT'S YOUR LUNGS!" he pulls up to pick me up from school, with all the windows open (it's 20 degrees out), trying frantically to get the scent of cigarettes out of his [my] car. and he knows i know he smokes. ah, whatever. he's just doing it to die quicker and make me feel bad. it's suicide but only inconspicuously. he's willing to make a point even if that means dying in the process.

nice...sounds like an action movie line. HEY MY DAD IS A COMBINATION OF THE LORD OF THE RINGS DWARF, LEADER ENT, AND THE KING WHO'S POSSESED BY SAUROMON. (lookswise)

and as always...

it's so weird to have you so affectionate. not that i don't enjoy it. i love to see you so happy that you're with me. at the same time i don't want to seem like i'm showing you off, which is how i'm feeling everytime my friends notice you in my locker. and that's how i felt too, when you got up and moved next to me tonight. but i love you, yes i do. goodnight.