It's a weird think to think about. Again I'm brought back to my favorite saying:

I'm sorry.

There's no reason I should have talked to you like that, acting as if it was your fault about any of it. I felt like I was a cause in it, and I still don't understand. I'm your boyfriend...a good one. Why can't you tell me things? I could have burst out crying in your arms, and although I expected you to, for some reason you didn't.

I feel terrible now, because every time I talk to you I want to ask, "How are you? No, really, how are you?" and I know that you will get tired and annoyed with being asked that.