I can't even begin to defend myself. Yesterday they all attacked me because I said that they weren't that bad. Kel was just rude, saying that maybe "because you're a guy you don't get it," in that condescending tone of hers. Like I was a piece of shit for saying my friends were "not all bad."

I just gave up. You can't just tell people to lighten up, it's like telling someone that's freaking out to relax. They're just so offended by everything that Joe and Chris do, they can't pick up that they're just characters.

My best friends excommunicated themselves, they're okay with that. They found best friends in each other and said "Fuck home," and they left in a van. They're super-critical and apathetic about everything, with the exception of their band. Most of them are womanizers, and they all have the most bizarre sense of humor.

I get it, though. No one else does, and I become the enemy when I defend them. So I don't defend them. They don't need me to, anyway.

I dreamed last night, bad dreams that really weren't bad, and it's not a big surprise I had them. I just felt awful all day, like I used to. But I got this longing in my stomach, I haven't felt it in forever, since London. I felt like specific company would have settled it.

I wrote a fucking song? In a few hours? I'm going to be so embarrassed to play in front of her. Either of them.