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i was wrong i was wrong i was wrong
2011-05-13 - 2:08 a.m.

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That was unexpected. She said the magic words, what I want/don't want all wrapped up into one.

All these promises...my face in her videos, writing opportunities, her right hand man. And no part-time job required.

What would I be giving up, though? My sanity, maybe. I got so good at auto-pilot these last few weeks. And auto-pilot in the good sense, that it afforded me plenty of time for introspection while my body was off doing body things, yes, no, sure thing, thanks for coming, it means a lot to us, do you want the deluxe package or just the five songs?

Look back a few entries, all I've said is how annoying and awful she is. But we get along for the most part. I do good work for her. Could I stomach it for a career? To play, to give myself time to write, to get better at what I do? I think I could. I could still do my own thing, I just have to be ready to drop it when she asks.

I told K my idea and she said "That's not fair..." like this isn't what she's been begging for for the past two years. Me even suggesting it was a stick in her spokes, because now she's changed tracks, heading for this teaching job in South Korea or China.

I really thought she'd be all about moving to New York City.

earlier - later