Played a show at Google NYC today. This is their game room. Note the employees learning how to juggle as a team in the upper right.

10 floors of offices and lounges and cafeterias, it was insane. Breakfast and dinner--we're talking healthy choices and portions--every day. I know that plenty of articles have been written on Google and the wonders of their offices, but to actually see it...

Sam and I had a long conversation on the bus home last night. It went a lot of directions, but at the bottom of it all was the thought that I'm not doing anything. And all I have to do feel better is turn my brain off and apply myself to something besides music. Sam sees the harm he's doing, so he tries to flip it but all he's got is blind encouragement, promises of grandeur and happiness.

I can convince myself that I'm good at this, I can even make some money from playing lackey to someone who's had some moderate success. I can get a paycheck and spend a couple weeks going out for beer, maybe going out to eat.

But I can't rest easy thinking about what's coming. About who I want to be in 10 years. I don't want to think about going out for a drink, for a quick bite. I know that there's a balance out there, somewhere. The balance between satisfaction, pay, security. It can't be perfect, but I know there's something. I have the feeling in my gut that I'm not doing the right thing right now.

Got to go to bed. Up at 4 AM for a 6 AM flight to Los Angeles so I can be around crazy YouTube people. Crazy, crazy YouTube people.