I can get past it for a few choice hours a day. A small, rational piece of myself comes up for air.

These last couple months have been different, just in the sense that I've been feeling something at all, besides worthlessness. I know I'm not worthless. It's just that I go so long being the same and just coasting, and the second that someone comes along and awakens that piece of me that's excited to be alive, that's the only way I can see how I've been. And then to get told it's time to go back.