After the set: I realize that this is the most alone I've ever been. My conscious unconsciousness realizes that I'm on a metal bench at Union and 5th Ave eating next to a taco truck. I asked for extra cilantro but, like always, the taco truck man has disregarded me as just another gringo yuppie outside the yuppiest bar in Brooklyn.

There have been times where I've felt more alone, sure. Crying as a teenager, here on a train zoning out. Tonight on that bench, though, I was watching a film of myself from inside. The sober viewer watching the drunk protagonist eat alone. He hates to eat alone.

During the set: my head is tilted back, embracing these notes like they're my last. This song, in particular, transports me every time. I fucked up throughout the entire rest of the set, but this song was written into my genetic code.

Across the stage playing violin stands one of the most beautiful women that I've ever interacted with. She has dark skin and short, curly hair. I want to say that her eyes are hazel, but I've literally never known what a color is and they could just be brown but they're set in such contrast to her face. The intense stare in her eyes as she focuses on playing, the music in front of her.

We stand and watch the next band together and she chides me about italian men. I think she's coming on to me? She's leaning so close, she's obviously not repulsed like she should be.

Towards the end of the night, after our set, after tacos alone on the street, she and Emily joke. They saw me during the set, "At one point you had your head tilted back and closed your eyes, like this--" and they do a spot on impression. They're not making fun of me, I think they think it's cute.

I hugged her before I walked to the subway, I said "You were awesome. You're beautiful," and she thanked me. I don't think she really heard the second part but I was still glad I'd said it.