I don't think it's necessarily chemical. The question keeps coming in different forms.

are you eating are you sleeping do you think you need meds

I said it to my father the other day, I don't want to freak you out, but all I can think about is laying down to die.

He took that in the metaphorical sense, chuckled and said "we don't do that in our family," which is kind of weird considering he spent a good portion of my childhood in bed not eating or sleeping, my brother and I not realizing why my mother forced us upstairs to say goodbye to him every morning, he barely noticed us.

So I rephrase later, and tell him a very real thought I have many times a day, about not wanting to be anywhere or anything. This gives him pause, and it starts the questions, and then he's arranging twice-a-day phonecalls, like he does with the sad men he's sponsored since my mother dug him out of whatever he was in five years ago.