Not feeling as good as I thought I would back in Boston. Run down by feelings of shame and guilt. Something about presents, something about my appearance, something about my aimlessness. I'd figured out that it was all related to sleep, and I don't think I'm entirely wrong, but I at least thought that coming home would make me feel better. The urge to not be present anymore floats in and out. Mom and dad are eyeing me, she's scared about my weight per usual. Food and body image might be the least important item on my laundry list right now.