my eye is throbbing. it had stopped that for awhile. I woke up at 7:57 because I couldn't sleep. I got this feeling in my stomach and it was that one where you're just waiting for something bad to happen.

I got up to take a shower. I stood up and staggered to the bathroom. It sounds stupid but I swirled around just looking at the mess my room was in.

I got in the shower planning on calling you when I got out. After about 5 minutes the water ran cold.

I got out of the shower and looked at the three red marks on my chest. They still hurt a little, but at the same time it was good. They've already faded away, but they still felt good.

And then I called you. I don't know why I brought up what I did. Sort of a reason to explain why I called at 11:30 last night.

I keep thinking each week is worst than the last and the work couldn't get anyworse, but my eye has never throbbed like this before. It's not that bulging thing that the coach does on Daria. It's something only I know about and can feel.

It had stopped for so long...

I love you.