today in spanish we had to listen to previous people who took the AP test. how bad does that suck. these were real kids. imagine having your tape available for all of the country to hear. how well, or how bad, you did is available for the public.

the first two were fine. then the third one came on. no, it wasn't me, don't think that. it was this girl. she got the lowest grades possible, all 1's, 2's and 0's. She was totally nervous. On one question she totally blanked and just stayed silent until the last few seconds.

the worst part was, she started to cry on one of them. and everyone in my class was laughing at the recording. i just sat there. it was kind of obvious that i wasn't laughing. there are only 5 other kids in the class. my teacher was even insulting the girl.

this is how bad my conscience is. this fucking girl was being tormented by people she's never met.

no, i think the worst part was how she reminds me of you. i could picture you taking the AP test and just being so frustrated that you just break down on the tapes. and then some fucking assholes put you on display for all of america to see.

...i do miss you.